A PORTAL TO MIDDLE EARTH OPENS UP BENEATH THE UK AS THE NATION INCINERATES AT 20C+
At least we can finally turn the heating down
Well folks, it appears this is it.
With temperatures set to skyrocket to over 20c in the UK, everyone is preparing to say their goodbyes as we experience the hottest weather the Earth has ever experienced, ever.
Some crazy conspiracy theorists have been suggesting that we are entering into a far right conspiracy known as ‘summer’. Experts have been quick to shrug off these wild theories and keep everyone terrified of everything by assuring people that there is no such thing as the earth getting naturally warmer or colder and the only solution to prevent the catastrophic end of society as we know it, is to destroy society as we know it. Awesome.
The Bill Gates sponsored government wasted no time as usual to gaslight the public last May claiming that it was the hottest May, ever. Never mind what the citizenry experienced in another far right conspiracy known as ‘reality’ the newly crowned architects of the truth, The Met Office, have deemed it so, and so, it was so.
One can now safely assume given this current trajectory that this June, despite being fucking freezing and having it snow in Scotland, will undoubtably now take the mantle as the hottest June since the beginning of the universe. All best estimates from the experts suggest this trend will continue and every single ‘warmer winter month’ (remember, summer is a conspiracy theory) will always be the hottest June, ever. Unless of course we tax everyone more, or just have less people in general having less fun, that should solve everything. Finally, if we could all make sure Bill Gates and friends get EVEN MORE money, that will definitely help, right?
As the world ending 20 something heatwave tears through Britain, residents are reporting that everything is setting on fire and the world is in fact ending. The fear thermometer is maxed out and absolutely nobody is thinking for themselves.
Local news outlets are keeping the public sufficiently scared and guilty by having the gaslighters turned way up to gaslight mach 10. Double the hypersonic speed, 10 times the speed of sound, record breaking, bullshit.
Its the end of the world… Again
Well I guess its that time of year again people. No, not summer, end of the world season, where each year is always hotter than the last and the truth is a thing of the past!
Has anyone started taking bets on whether or not next year will also be the hottest May and June, ever?
Well, with things being so hot here in the UK that the very laptop this article is being written on melting into itself, maybe this end of the world really will be the real end of the world.
At least we could turn the heating down for a bit.
